the granola coma at the end of this post

Did anybody read the book _There’s a Monster at the End of this Book_ as a kid? It was a Sesame Street story where Grover spent the whole time trying to get the reader to STOP READING THAT BOOK because there was a monster at the end!! He built brick walls to keep you from turning the pages. And you’d turn the pages and he’d get all exasperated at you. And then he became more frantic as the end neared, you know, because there was a monster at the end. !!

Yet at the end, the monster was Grover himself. And he felt so silly having been scared.

So, I feel similarly about this recipe I’m about to share. You really REALLY don’t want to have it (for a few reasons): First, if you’re a dumbass like I am, you won’t buy the ingredients pre-chopped, and you’ll spend your entire Sunday afternoon chopping the shit out of some hard-ass nuts. Second, when you finally HAVE the finished product, you’ll eat wayyyy too much of it. Because it’s pretty damn amazing.

So, you can turn back now. Stop reading, just forget about this whole post. It really is a pain in the fanny. And you’ll be miserable when you eat half the batch in an afternoon. Really. X-out, red light, close the tab, go back to Facebook, get back on tumblr, go pin something on Pinterest. Just quit while you’re ahead.

Oh. You’re still here. Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you. *sigh*
Cherry Granola
1 C sliced almonds
1 C chopped pecans
1 C chopped pepitas (green pumpkin seeds)
1/4 C sunflower seeds
1/4 C honey
1/4 C maple syrup
1/4 C coconut oil
2 Tbsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 C chopped dried cherries and/or raisins

Preheat your oven to 300. Combine the honey, syrup, and oil in a glass bowl and place it on your stove, so that as your stove heats, the oil melts and the honey gets really liquidy. (You could also stick it in the microwave.) Now, chop all your nuts. Or be smart and buy them already sliced/chopped.

Combine your nuts and honey/syrup/oil in a large bowl; add cinnamon, salt, and chopped cherries/raisins and stir.

Lay out the mixture on a cookie sheet lined with parchment and bake, turning once in a while, for about 20-30 minutes. Be sure not to burn the edges.
Eat. Beware the granola coma.


One thought on “the granola coma at the end of this post

  1. It’s sounds delicious! We have a pumpkin granola with a similar recipe but I think this would be crispier! Also, the monster at the end of the book has an interactive app now – it’s excellent and is one of Rudy’s favorite books.

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